Codependency in Communication

 
An excellent approach to cultivate Autonomy within your relationships. . .
 
When initiating a particular direction or new path 1) assertively say what you want and why “I am feeling achey and want to do about a half hour of yoga” then 2) how it applies, effects, or potentially includes the other “…and I’d really love it if you would join me.”
 
Another example could be, “I want to run out for an errand real quick before it gets dark. It will probably be around 20 minutes. Can you be okay with our newborn while I’m gone?” So, first you are Assertive and Autonomous, focusing your words on what you want, and why in a brief and upbeat delivery. Then secondly how it potentially involves or effects the others in the circumstance. With a work situation it could be, “I’m looking forward to starting on these tasks right now. Will you be able to clear outta here within the next 5 to 10min, or sooner?”
 
This approach to life is effective and easy. It’s also non co-dependent and non passive-aggressive. And it allows the other to respond from an autonomous place as well. If they respond with passive aggressiveness or codependency, however, take note, stay emotionally centered, remain assertive, and co-create the win-win situation. Usually though, when you approach life from the control-seat, instead of the passenger-seat, people will respond to your assertiveness in kind, thus creating a dynamic of self-sustainability, open communication, and co-creation within the relationship.
 
This approach will also ensure that you remain the Leader of your own Life, the Master of your own Flow, yet still fluid enough to function harmoniously with others. And the best part…this approach ensures that others get to lead themselves. Ahhh. Now doesn’t that feel better? Another example, “Thanks for the invite to go to lunch after we’re done here at the gym, but I’m eager to get home to finish some work I have piled up. You’re still down to take me home after this, right?”
 
We’ve been conditioned to be obsessively apologetic, literally saying “sorry!” every 7 minutes. Prove me wrong next time you “accidentally” apologize for no good reason. It’s our need to be liked and accepted by our social group, among many other reasons. And so we perpetuate a passive-aggressive and codependent dynamic that is false, and ultimately distracts us from our full potentials together. One last example, “Hey man, I’m having fun talking and all, but I’d much rather be playing music. I’d love it if you’d pick up that drum behind you and jam out with me right now”. As easy as 1, 2. . .
 
My love and courage is always with you,
Jaecinta
 
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